Late Nights

I can't sleep. It's like insomnia's taking over or my mind just won't shut it's own mouth. It's hard when you want to sleep but you just can't. So here are some things I do or you guys would probably do when the brain has decided you're not getting any sleep yet.

Text.Text.Text a lot

Yes even if I'm half asleep, I text I think it helps, because you'd get exhausted looking at the screen, holding your phone and the next thing you know you're asleep, unless you're texting your significant other or your bestfriend or just some awesome text mate who you fond of texting because of the great conversation you guys are having, I mean I've been there but trust me drop the phone, and go to sleep.

Surf the internet.

Facebook, twitter, instagram, I mean the works dude, you'll at least have a fun time maybe mentioning your friends on twitter, or liking your friends pictures on instagram, or maybe stalk your crush on facebook or chat someone up. I mean you could do a lot of things in the internet, or enjoy 9gag memes, or search on what's happening on your favorite actor, I mean the possibilities are endless on what you could do on the internet, this however won't let you sleep, like ever.

Read a book.

For others it helps them to fall asleep easily, but mine doesn't work for me and maybe for the others. I like reading I think bookworms would understand when you start reading a book you get lost in it and the next thing you know you're wide awake until 3am, and then when you realized that it's late well you sleep insantly. Well at least that's how my brain works.

Watch a movie.

Preferably gore or a horror movie, I mean who doesn't love to watch scenes that would eat your eyes out right? I mean I've watched some good horror films and some of them didn't let me sleep while for some I'd had enough sleep. Watching a movie is also like reading books but this time with images and mind blowing scenes of some sort. So if you can't sleep go watch a movie then sleep.

Play games.

Be it on your computer, laptop, ipad or even your own cellphone, playing maze runner or temple run would be a great time to  kill time, and wait for your brain and body to get really tired. Usually I play games on my ipad lying down and in a few minutes I'm fast asleep, So I guess it works.

These are things that I usually do to prolong my half-asleep mindset, Reasons why I have panda eyes but for the record I love doing these stuff even if I'm really tired, I mean blame wifi for for late nights, some of these things are just bound to happen.

To some people who might be reading this right now, good morning nocturnal species.

Undo.

Pause.Rewind.Skip

There are times  I wish  I could do a do-over, restart. Because to not regret sometimes, well its hard.

Really hard. I have been thinking of the things I wish I didn't do because I live in the saying " I'd rather have a life of "oh wells" than "what ifs." But sometimes you do things, you take risks and  by the end of the day you'll realize it's not worth it. As I get older, I've realized a lot of things, principles that I need to live by, I've learned to be more careful on what I do or say, make decisions that will make me  happy. But it seems like I have not been implementing my so called principles, there are times where I just do stuff, not even thinking if its wrong or right, sometimes I can't even tell what's right or wrong anymore. I have these relapses, more like a routine I do something crazy and the next day I cry, and the next day I cry even more then I try to move on, try not to regret, and then tell myself I can be better I can do better. There are moments in my life where I want to rewind all the happy things that happened and skip the bad things. Sometimes I want to undo things, for all I know if I had a time machine I'd definitely overuse it. There are just memories I want to go back to and make them right, say the things I want to say, to change and do something about the bad things I have done. But life doesn't work that way. So I have to learn to accept the things I've already done and stop playing rewind in my head and move forward and try to be better, I know I always try but at least I know I wont stop trying. So if ever you do something, or decide something for yourself, first thought is to be careful, really careful.

But If I haven't done the foolish things I've done before, made mistakes, took wrong turns. I wont be the person who I am today, but it's definitely not an excuse to do more mistakes and live the #yolo life. 

Right now what's important is the present, because you can never have this day back again, so might as well live the most out of it, be a happy soul, you know what just be your desired self and live life as if today's the last. I think its easier to live life that way because you start to appreciate the little things, and you don't want to waste your time be sad or in sorrow right? So maybe what I'm trying to imply is even though we can't do a do-over, experiences whether be it bad or good, what's not to love about life? You're alive, you're breathing and you have the will to control on what's going to be your next move, so make it worth while.

Some piece of advice, never stop trying.

Calls.

Crappy reception. There I said it.

I mean when you want to call a friend because you want to share something that you just can't wait to spill the details by tomorrow, or you call your mom to ask her something because she's not around, do you know how difficult it is to not reach them?! It's driving me nuts. I mean why cant networks make more satellites, I mean if you're from the north and you're calling the person from the south trust me it's a struggle like for real.Why do I have to adjust where I am to hear the other line? This busts.

I even went to the terrace just to talk to my friend, even if it was raining. YES I was a little desperate to call a friend. See what I mean.

I mean seriously, more satellites please, I mean what if a hot guy calls you and asks you out? And you can't hear him. Now that's just harsh.

Truth be told calls that won't go through and when you're in the middle of explaining the best part of your story and suddenly signals out of nowhere. I swear it makes me want to burst out into flames, Crappy reception is the worst thing that could happen.

Rekindled feelings

 Feelings. One word  that means a thousand things.

It's true what they say when an old flame is lightened up again, two things could happen. 

Be happy or say hello to sleepless nights and unstoppable memories you wish you'd stop thinking about but you-just-cant.

When you've found the one you like and you think he doesn't like you back  and then  in a couple of years, you just find out the you guys both friendzoned each other, yes people it technically happens in real life it's not just some 9gag meme anymore, it's real. So what do you do when your in a maybe not so similar situation? let me break it down for you.

Stay being friends.

Well this sounds awful, but sometimes  that's just how reality works. If you guys think it might ruin the friendship and you guys don't want to mess up what you guys already have, well pretty much the quote that says "you know that feeling when you guys know you're in love but you can't be together" exactly you guys fall into this quote. will always be a what if.

Be just the "option".

This falls into the kind of friendship were one person has a lover and the other one doesn't. its like the right love at  the wrong time, well this pretty much sucks too much, what's worse is that you'd be willing to be there always for that person even if you know by the end of the day you are just "the bestfriend" . That my friends is real love and also stupidity. But hey if you're willing to be stupid for the one you love go for it.

Wait.

If you guys are too scared to do something and let time do the talking, well patience is a virtue. Either you wait for something like a huge gesture of some sort, or bluntly you just wait of what might and what could, but to be honest it's like being stuck, And I know no one wants to be just "stuck". So go do something if you can, and if you can try,

Move on.

This is hard, but when it's too much, you may love each other but if it make things complicated if it make things worse, and what's left is pain and grief, and you can no longer hold on to great memories you have together, the things you guys said to each other, the feelings.It's time to let go and move on. When you move on its like a wake up call and an opportunity to find someone someday who truly deserves you.

Take the  risk.

I mean if you want to step on a whole new level from being friends to lovers, I guess it's safe to say you'd be willing to risk everything. When I mean everything, i meant EVERYTHING. Maybe you guys could treat each other the same, but more intimate, more open and 100% honesty to make the risk all worth it. This really happens in the movies a happy ending, and yes this is rare so I guess you're considered lucky.

That's what love is, sometimes it's downright filthy, sneaky, unpredictable and maybe just maybe a shot to real happiness. So to everyone who might be experiencing this now, Don't stop loving and savor the feeling. Not everyone finds tough love.